Emerged.

The first six months of Coral's life were a haze. A dream-like haze because the lack of sleep and the shiny newness of being of a mom. While sleep-deprived, I was constantly researching what changes she was going through. I soaked up all baby knowledge like a sponge. I wanted to learn, learn and learn. I bought lots of workout clothes because, duh! That's the new mom uniform. I strolled around in my "active wear" with a badge of pride. "I'm a new mom wth no time for frivolous clothes!" is what I would tell myself. I felt like a hamster in a wheel - a very determined hamster. A loopy, happy, tired hamster. 

Then Coral started sleeping through the night and the world started opening back up. Then coral started crawling, holding a bottle, entertaining herself and things got easier again. Still hard, but exponentially easier than the beginning days.  By 12 months I didn't give a hoot about research. I learned to trust my gut. And now, 14 months in, I've started coming back to myself. Well, I came back to myself a few months ago. But I finally feel ready to write again. 

I started working out when Coral was 9 months. Now I'm running. I run 3-4 miles now! I mean that's not a lot for running pros, but this is the most active I've ever been in my life. I've bought real clothes! Workout clothes are great, but yes it's time to dress like an adult again. I'm hitting my stride in the work arena. I'm getting closer and closer to what I really want to do. In fact,  I am en route to Seattle right now for a marketing/ PR/ social media conference.  I'm truly loving my life as a working mama. I can't do it all but I have found balance. 

My former self and new role as a mom have finally found a way to coexist peacefully, when previously, they felt at odds. This is where I am at today and I absolutely love it. I'm inspired today! 

-written from a plane #raganmsft  

A Rite of Passage

My little bundle of joy is a one-year-old. My once chunka-munka, funny-looking newborn is a the cutest walking and talking little girl!  I wish she could stay this age forever, because every day she's learning a new trick that has us cracking up or ohh'ing and ah'ing.  Don't ever let anyone scare you away from parenthood. Kids are what life is made of, the best stuff on earth I tell Ya. 

So what did we do for her first birthday? Oh just throw one of those big (perhaps over the top) birthday parties she'll never remember! It's a rite of passage right?! Pics below: 

 We love you Coral baby! 

~your mom and dad :) 

Coral Bear | 6 months

AHHH! My favorite age so far. You are sitting up much better, not completely stable yet tho. You are way more into toys nowadays, so it's much easier to occupy you at home. You love jumpers, your pretend cell phone, this water bottle with noodles inside that I made for you. You are pretty attached to mama, although you generally love everyone! You just want me close while you explore. 

We all survived mom and dad's first vacation to mexico. I was having serious wrist pain, and overall just stressed about the whole ordeal but it's so true when they say you really need vacation. 

And you really, really want to crawl. You can get up on all fours as of 3/14/15. You love books, and getting out of the house. You still pitch a fit over getting dressed, and the after bath routine of lotion and the works. 

You are too precious for words. I know I am biased as heck, but I find you to be the most adorable little girl! You have a huge smile on your face all the time. 

Mommy wants to end co-sleeping, but doesn't think you'll comply. I can not handle the dark days of no sleep again (3.5-5.5 months for Coral). So we shall see how this goes in the next month or two. Who knows, makes you'll just sleep with us til you're  four! Ha. Psyche. 

Love you so much Coral bear. 

Coral Bear | 5 months

This little cutie starting sleeping through the night a few weeks after she turned 5 months. Grandma had you overnight a few days before Valentine's as "practice" and she didn't feed you. We never fed you in the night again. We did have a few weeks of you still waking up quite a bit, especially with you attempting to crawl? But you found your tummy sleep position,  and that was the beginning of sleep. It did take a little time for me to trust you on your tummy, but once I did boy was it nice! Amen! 

Still co- sleeping, and 100% formula starting at 5 months. Mama felt like a human again! Quitting BF was a huge game changer for me. 

Our little social butterfly: You love to go out and meet new people. People always comment on how sweet you are when out, and how great you do with strangers. I hope this never changes! In fact you prefer being out and about over staying home. Overall you are a very happy baby during the day, it's just the nights that can be a toss up :) 

You really are becoming interested in books. You love bath time, car rides, naps in strollers, jumpers, your wub a nub, purées - carrots, pears and apples, and co sleeping. My goodness you love our sleeping arrangment! Lol. 

You hate getting dressed.  

Thanks Ya'll

Thank you guys for your encouraging comments on my last post. While my blog has never blown up or become huge (I wish), I will always love the friendships I have made, and endless stories I have read because they helped me in my own specific situation.

Coral and I had a great day yesterday. I was off for MLK day, and it was so nice to just be with Coral all day, to really spend every minute with her and not feel rushed to do this or that. She was so sweet to me, and I could tell how happy she was to be with mommy. I got to sleep in a little bit, didn’t get dressed til 10 am (holler!) so her requests for more attention didn’t wear on me. I feel so terrible, but it’s just a fact of life. You come home from work and your patience levels are just lower than they should be as a mom!  She’s also finding her feet right now, and I got to soak in all that yumminess. It’s just the most adorable thing to watch a baby suck on their toes!  Proof below!

Just a tinsy sleep update: Coral’s sleep has gotten better. We aren’t cured and magically getting sleep, and sometimes it’s a total toss up and we feel like we are back at step 1 (Like last night LOL). We don’t know why Coral has so much trouble staying asleep certain nights, but I definitely rearranged her, or put her pacificer in her mouth about 5-6 times last night to keep her down. Throw in a feeding at 3:15 a.m., a diaper change and we’ve got one exhausted working mama! We are going back and forth about sleep training, and decided to wait a while before we do anything in that arena. I am also going to have my mom start letting her fall asleep unassisted for naps, and approach sleep training in a gradual way. Let grandma do the heavy lifting if you will! Removing me from sleep training as much as possible is A-Okay for me!

And that’s all I got lovaaaas. 

The (sleepless) 4th Month

Ohh the fourth month. Hands down the most challenging month yet, and all because of one thing: lack of sleep. Obviously all mamas expect to lose sleep in the newborn days, and most likely you’re on maternity leave. You hang out in your PJ’s, shower at noon, maybe cash in on everyone’s advice “sleep when the baby sleeps.” and of course, a new baby is just bliss.  But for your baby to sleep semi-well for 7 weeks, then WHAM all the sudden not sleep? AND you have to go to work the next morning? That completely blindsided me, and to be honest, left me feeling worse for wear all month. I definitely had a meltdown or two and lost confidence in my ability to mother. I spiraled myself into reading sleep blogs and questioning EVERYTHING we were doing. It was really, really tough.

Fortunately I had some adrenaline to run on because it was baby’s first Christmas. I mean, I was making outfit lists and coordinating plans weeks in advance. I was so excited about Christmas, and I gave myself some grace (thanks for that line Darby). Decorating and over-the-top gift giving/wrapping was just not important. All that mattered was Coral’s first Christmas! And me surviving zombie-mode.

Anywho I'll stop rambling. But to all first time moms, the 4-month-sleep regression is definitely not a joke. Hopefully I'll get my act together to implement a routine followed by some sleep training. 

and some stats to remember:

• 14 lbs 7 oz, 26 inches long. 60th percentile for weight, and 95th for height!
• size 3 diapers 
• 3-6 m clothes are too short. 6-9 m are a little baggy and need to be cuffed

Coral's likes:

• bath time! she loves to splash
• mirrors
• fingers! staring at them while moving them, sucking them, chewing them. Holding onto our fingers. her hand movements just make me melt daily.
• mam teething ring. putting everything in her mouth.
• being sung too. she loveeeees music. 
• getting out of the house. Coral is much more calm in new places. 

Coral's dislikes:

• getting dressed
• cold milk. 
• eating in the morning 
• playing by herself

Sleep: mostly bad. lol. co-sleeping from midnight to the am. in crib all other times/naps. Although it              has recently gotten better, this post is late and it happened in the 5th month. (to get technical)

Eating: 

• Still breastfeeding, and supplementing 4 oz of formula a day. We give her two half and half bottles a day basically. 
• This helps me not feel so stressed if I miss a pumping session, and eases my mind that she can take formula if needed for an emergency situation. I also can quit pretty easily when I decide to end our journey. Supplementing has overall taken the stress out of breastfeeding/pumping for me. 

Milestones: 

• giggles. not laughing spontaneously, but we can sure make her laugh if we tickle her! 
• sitting up with support very well. great head control. 
• her movements just became so fluid this month.

Mom & Dad:

• Matt has turned into superdad this month. I finally broke down and asked for him to step it up, since naturally I was carrying a lot of the load on maternity leave. Once I went to work I just needed way more help. Especially since pumping is quite the ordeal. 
• on the topic of pumping: exclusive pumpers deserve a serious shout-out. I tried to pump / bottle feed coral breastmilk very consistently when I went back to work. even on weekends and holiday breaks. She had developed a snacking habit when nursing and we just needed to get her out of that mode. and once she got it, I didn't want to go backwards.